Children and Relationship Breakdown
Children are our most precious possession, yet all too often they can become trophies to be fought over or pawns in the battle between parents. This can be about trying to gain a perceived financial advantage by having the children or just about people feeling they have "won" over the other person.
Sometimes people can become so wrapped up in their own emotions that they have trouble seeing that their actions are not in the best interests of their children. They may not want the other party to see the children because they do not want to see the other party, for example. Children generally benefit from a continuing relationship with both parents and a regular routine, so they who they will be with when.
If proceedings have been issued for divorce or dissolution then the Court will automatically consider whether any Orders need to be made in respect of the children. However, without anybody making a specific application it is rare for the Court to intervene.
Parental rights are generally termed parental responsibility. Anyone with parental responsibility is entitled to be consulted over major decisions in a child's life, for example the name they should be known by, where they should go to school or what religion they follow. It does not give a right to interfere in the day to day decisions that would normally be made by the parent looking after the child. The mother of a child automatically has parental responsibility. The father only has this automatically if he was married to the mother or, for any child whose birth is registered after 1 December 2003, is named on the birth certificate. Otherwise it can only be obtained by agreement or Court Order.
Residence is where the child should live. In recent times it has become quite common for this to be split between the parents to reflect the importance of both in the child's life. However, where the child is primarily living in one place the parent the child is living with would normally have residence. This can be by agreement or Court Order.
Contact is the child spending time with any parent (or possibly relative) that they are not living with, although contact can be indirect. In situations where the child is at risk from the non-residential parent contact may take place on a supervised basis or there may be no contact at all. However, it must be remembered that contact is a child's right to see their parent, not the parent's right to see the child. If the amount of contact cannot be agreed then the Court can make an Order regulating this.
Where the parties disagree on any other issues the Court can make a specific issue Order or a Prohibited Steps Order. This will usually be about the choice of school or name the child is to be known by, but is far-reaching in its ambit.
An alternative to going to court would be to seek to mediate the issues through an independent mediator. In reality, if the matter does go to court the first hearing is usually a mediation hearing in any event.
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